McDonalds and Piccolo don't mix
by Emilia
Summary: Aaaay! I actually wrote another installment of my stuff that doesn't mix w/ Piccolo series. Beware it has slight Saiyajin slasher bashing and dissing of the worst place to eat in the world, McBarffel's- I mean McDonalds.


Gak! Finally a sequel to "school and Piccolo don't mix" after my cliffhanger of a walking off to McDonald's ending. What could Emilia have in store for these poor people now, hmm? Well sit back and watch! Tee hee!  
Disclaimer thingy: Well the only way I could own them is if- *Layer walks up and hands Emilia a paper* Oooh! According to this will, DBZ has now been left to me! I own them! Woo hoo! Huh? Awww nevermind..No I don't…. Oh yeah and I don't own McDonald's or their crappy food, SNL or any NSYNC references.  
  
  
"Myyyy naame is Gokuuuu! Yes it iiiis!!!!" Goku was singing as loud as he could while the big mob consisting of him, Vegeta, Goten, Trunks and Piccolo walked to McDonalds. Piccolo snatched Goten out of the way of a speeding bus and suddenly wished he hadn't when Goten threw his arms around his waist and cut all the circulation out of Piccolo's legs.  
"Gee thanks Mr. Piccolo! You saved me!"  
"Ugh! Let go!" Piccolo whimpered. He suddenly hated kids…A LOT!  
"Look daddy! Look!" Goten suddenly de-tatched himself from Piccolo's waist to point at McDonald's. "There it is!!!!!"  
"Goody.." Muttered Piccolo as Goku dragged him in.  
"Ooooooooh! I want the number one! Can I get that? Huh? Huh?" pleaded Goten.  
"Pah! That's nothing!!! I want the number three AND the number four, SUPER SIZED!!!" bragged Trunks.  
"Okay!" Goku grabbed Vegeta and dragged him to the counter. "I'll have twelve number twos, fifteen number sixes, a number one and…Piccolo?"  
"Gimme a water!" Piccolo barked as he struggled not to step in the soda all over the floor.  
"And I'll have a number three and a number four, super sized!" Trunks said proudly.  
"Did you say…SUPER sized?" Asked the acne-prone boy at the counter.  
"No duh!"  
Suddenly, all the McDonald's staff broke out into the NSYNC thing from SNL. "Why don't you drive up to my heart?"  
"Can I take your order?"  
" Look what you get for just one more quarter"  
"Come on and super size it!"  
"Hold the pickle"  
"And do it up big. When it comes to my love I'll be a hungry pig *snort snort*"  
"Come on and Super Size it!"  
"Hold the pickle!"  
"I'm down on my knees. If you don't want all my love next window please!"  
"Super size it!"  
"What the hell?" Vegeta screamed in disgust. "That was the most PATHETIC thing I've ever seen!"  
"Umm…I don't think I really want my food super-sized anymore…" Trunks said, slowly backing away. He would have gotten all the way out the door if he hadn't backed into-  
"Ow! Watch it Trunks!" Yelped Krillin, rubbing the making sure Trunks hadn't broken any of his ribs.  
"Oh sorry Krillin! Heh…" Trunks moved out of the way so that Krillin and Maron (baby Maron…er, the one who grows up to be SMART) could go to the counter. "Whatever you do, don't get anything super-sized!" He muttered t him.  
"Hey you brat! Go with Kakorrot's kid into that monstrosity they call the ball pit!" Vegeta growled, giving a death glare to the manager whom had come out of his office to see what all the yelling was about.  
"Come on Mr. Piccolo!!" Goten grabbed Piccolo and Trunks helped him drag him out with them."  
"What the f-? Let me go!" Piccolo protested.  
"But we can't be out here unattended! The sign says so!" Trunks pointed to the big orange sign that said 'Don't leave your children unattended!'.  
"Great…" Piccolo looked at all the tables outside. The chairs either had french fries, ketchup, soda or bird poop on them. Sighing, he sat down on top of a table. Why was their food taking so long? All he ordered was a freakin water!  
"Mr. Piccoloooo! Come in the ball pit with us!" Trunks yelled.  
"What? No way!" Piccolo cried in horror. "I wouldn't be caught dead in there!"  
"But we're playing Loch Ness monster and we need a monster!!" Goten whined.  
"Get Maron to be the monster! She doesn't have a nose!"  
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeee?"  
"No!!! Besides…ummm" He looked around for a scapegoat. "Cuz that sign says you have to be this tall to go in!" He pointed to the big ugly Ronald McDonald sign that says 'You must be at least four feet tall'. Hah! Let's see them get past THAT one!  
Trunk's face got red. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs "VEEEEGEEEEETTTAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO GO TO THE-" Before he could finish his sentence, Vegeta was outside, clamping his hand over Trunk's mouth.  
"Shut up Brat! What the hell do you want? Don't you know remember this McDonald's is too cheap for a bathroom? IF you have to go, you'll have to hold it or go in that bush over there!"  
"I don't really have to go! I just need you to do something about that sign right there! It needs to be taller than Piccolo!"  
"You almost embarrassed me in public so that you could get me to move that ugly sign so that it's-"  
"WHAT? WHAT'S THAT VEGETA??? YOU JUST DID WHAT BEHIND THE-"  
"Argh! FINE!" Vegeta ripped the sign out from the ground and scratched ten zeros after the 4. Then he flew up really high and stabbed the sign into one of those endangered birds that just happened to be flying overhead. The bird squawked and then fell into the flagpole next to the ball pit. "There! Now you have to be 40000000000 feet taller than the flag pole to NOT go in!" Vegeta shouted and stormed back in to help Goku and Krillin carry all the food to a table inside.  
"Come on Mr. Piccolo!" Goten yelled. Piccolo growled angrily and squeezed himself into the ball pit.  
"Hey! You have to take off your shoes first!" Trunks protested.  
Piccolo groaned and disgustedly took off his shoes and threw them outside with Trunks and Goten's. "Ewww! What's on the floor of this thing?" He cried, trying to find a spot on the floor that DIDN'T have sticky stuff on it.  
"I dunno. Maybe you should try wearing SOCKS like we do!"  
"Hmph! All right! So what am I supposed to be doing here, huh? Hurry up so I can get out!" Piccolo growled, nearly tripping on the plastic balls he was crushing under his feet.  
"Okay, go under the balls and poke one hand up and go 'oooooh!!! Grrrrrrr!!!!'!" Goten cried enthusiastically.  
"Fine!" Piccolo sighed and squatted down until he could lean over under the sea of balls. He stuck a hand out as instructed. "There! Now hurry up!"  
"Nooo! Now you have to act scary! Remember! You're the Loch Ness Monster!!!"  
"Goody…" Piccolo swallowed his last bit of decency and went "Grrrrr! The Loch Ness monster's gonna get yoooooou! Grrrrr I'm spoooooky grrrrrrrr!!!!" If anyone sees me, I'll kill them.   
Piccolo grimaced as he suddenly heard Krillin step outside and go "Here you go sugar-plum! Have fun with the boys while daddy and his friends talk! Hey! Where's Piccolo? I thought he was watching you?"  
"Please don't say I'm playing with them! Please don't say I'm playing with them!" Piccolo silently prayed as Trunks suddenly shouted out "OH he's right here! See his hand? He's playing Loch Ness Monster with us!"  
"Um… okay" Krillin shrugged his cute lil' shoulders and walked back inside.  
Vegeta could be heard screaming "WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUR FOOD'S NOT READY YET? WHAT'S SO HARD ABOUT MAKING 50 MEALS? EH???" Obviously, their food wasn't ready since McDonald's is slower than a 56 k modem trying to download the 2 and a half hour N'SYNC HBO concert off of Napster.  
"Come on Maron!" Goten yelled.  
"Wheee! Okay! Look out all you monsters!!!!!" She took a running start and cannonballed into the ball pit. Unfortunately, she landed right on Piccolo's back.  
"AAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo screamed, then proceeded to scream every dirty word there was in the English, Japanese, Spanish, German, Chinese, Dutch, French, Hawaiian, Canadian, Israeli, African, Polish and Yiddish language.  
"Heehee…Oooops?" Maron looked down at Piccolo. His eyes were starting to look um…. Scary!  
"Uh ooooh…." Goten got out of the ball pit, dragging Maron with him.  
"Heh… You want a Loch Ness Monster? I'll give ya a monster!" Piccolo slowly stood up. Then he got this scary grin on his face and he started foaming at the mouth.  
"Cool!" cried Trunks. "He looks like Vegeta the time I woke him by playing 'Give me just one Night' by 98 Degrees at volume level 100 in mega-bass speakers right next to his head while he was having some nasty dream about the Bunny Dance!"  
"Umm, wasn't that also the time you were in the hospital for two weeks?" Goten asked uneasily.  
"Oh yeeeeeeah!!!! How silly of me!" Trunks slapped his forehead and laughed. Then he looked at Piccolo. "Oh crud!"  
"Heh… Niiiiiiice Mr. Piccolo…. Niiiice kitty- I mean Namek…Niiiice….It's okaaaaay…" Goten slowly backed away, shoving Maron behind the bike-rack.  
"Hmph! I know how to handle this!" Trunks sucked din all his breath and yelled "VEGEEEEEETAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO-"  
"Shut up!!!! What did I tell you about that???" Vegeta was outside again.  
"Piccolo's going insane because Maron jumped on his back!" Trunks tattled.  
"Hmmm…" Vegeta looked at the rabid Piccolo. "I saw this in a movie once… has his head started spinning?"  
"Not yet."  
"Okay then we can save him! Quick! Get me his water!" Maron ran in and came back out with a flimsy cup of water.  
"Hey guys!" Goku strolled out. "The food's almost done! Hey! What's up with Piccolo?"  
"He's gone insane because Maron jumped on his back!"  
"It was an accident!" Maron shrank back against Krillin.  
"Grrrrrr! I'm the scary Loch Ness Monster!" Piccolo laughed insanely.  
"The power of Kami compels you!" Goku suddenly yelled. When nothing happened, Vegeta smacked the back of his head.  
"You baka!!! You have to do this first!" He grabbed Piccolo's water and threw it on him. Then he cried out "The power of Vegeta compels you!!!" Nothing happened again.  
"Ooh! I know!" Goten suddenly yelled. He ran up infront of Piccolo. "Mr. Piccolo? Is it true you like my brother better than me?"  
Piccolo looked down at him and nodded. He thought Goten said 'Would you like to eat a cheeseburger on your knees.'  
"Y-you do?" Goten's lip quivered. "*sniff* You're….so…meeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaan!!! No body likes me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goten started wailing, which instantly made Piccolo snap out of it.  
"Argh! Shut the hell up!" He shouted, covering his ears. "Goku! IS the food done yet? And where's my water?"  
"Um, on your face…" Goku pointed meekly to the water dripping from Piccolo's pretty-in-a-green-sorta-way face.  
"What? But I'm thirsty!!!!"   
"You can have my soda…" Goten offered.  
"Thanks!" He took it and chugged it in two seconds, then let out this huuuge burp (ick! It's only cute when I do it!).  
Then the acne-prone McDonald's employee stuck his head out and said, his voice cracking on every syllable "Um sir? Your food is ready."  
"OH BOOOOOOOY!!!!!!!" Goku screamed, running in to carry all thirty trays of food to his table. Goten ran in after him with Trunks, Krillin, Vegeta and Maron close behind. Piccolo trudged in, mad because he didn't get his cup of water.  
Goku dove into his food, chortling it down so fast that it put a pig to shame. Goten and Trunks were practically inhaling their food too, just not as fast. Krillin and Maron were eating at a regular pace. "Pah! Ammeters!" Vegeta scoffed and calmly seated himself next to the chortling Goku. He then carefully picked his food out from the rest, arranged in neatly in front of him in a small pile and sipped his drink. Then he suddenly screamed "FOOD THAT'S NOT BULMA'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And slammed his face into everything and started sucking his food in like a vacume.  
"Mr. Piccolo! Watch me!" Goten yelled. Piccolo turned to see Goten stuff some fries into his mouth, chew them and them squirt them out in-between a gap between two of his teeth.  
"EEEEEWWWW! Goten that's disgusting!" Piccolo snorted and turned to the exit. "I'll wait for you guys outside."  
He was resting peacefully against a bike rack when he noticed some hippie looking whackos staring through the window at the other Z fighters who were still pigging out.  
"I don't believe it! This is incredible!" One person cried.  
"Proof! Pure proof right before our eyes!" Yelped another. "Goku and Vegeta side by side!"  
"Uh oh…" Piccolo snuck back inside and stopped Vegeta from pigging out.  
"What'd ya do that for?" Vegeta snarled angrily. Then He saw the weird people at the window. "What are those? Androids?"  
"Worse." Piccolo gulped. "They're… SAIYAJIN SLASHERS!!!!!!!!!"  
"WHAT????" Goku almost choked on his food. "You mean the people who are obsessed with the idea of me and Vegeta as a….couple?"  
"They're right out there with cameras!" Piccolo motioned to the window.  
"Hmmm well I think Kakkarot and I can handle them, eh?"  
"Yeeeeeaah…." Goku got an evil look in his eye because the thought of doin the nasty with Vegeta made his queasy.  
Piccolo snickered as he watched them go outside.  
"Hey it's them!" One of the weirdo hippies cried. "Peace and love man!"  
"Yeah dudes! We think it's great you've defied the laws of love to find eachother!" The other one cried. "Can we get a picture of you two hugging?"  
"Sure!" Goku smiled and looked at Vegeta who snickered. One of the weirdo hippies fumbled around with his camera, giving Goku and Vegeta time to charge up their ki. Then the suddenly blasted all the saiyajin slashers into 'the next dimension' and walked back in to finish their food.  
  
The next day, everyone but Piccolo woke up sick from the McDonalds food. Bulma tested their puke in her lab and said it contained items that shouldn't be mixed with stomach acid. That made everyone puke even more and Piccolo had to help clean it all up. "ARGH! WHY ME????? I HATE McDONALDS!!!!!" He screamed as Goku puked his head off in the trash can next to Vegeta while the Saiyajin slashers who were watching in the next dimension yelled "Ooooooh! Oooooooh!!! They're puking together!!! Proof! Proof!!!!"  
  
The End.  



End file.
